Navigating Toddler Tantrums

First off I am writing this post to encourage myself as much as anyone else. I know what I should do, and I have success when I do it. I’ll be the first to admit that I dont always follow through in the moment. Being a parent is difficult, and even harder with a screaming child in the middle of Target.

I have spent countless hours reading blogs, research articles, and books. I have observed other parents in the heat of the moment, and I have asked my own parents for tips on how they handled the four of us during tantrums. Now if you think I am going to hand you the secret to making your two year old stop throwing toys at his brother then you are sadly mistaken.

Veronica Nystrom Photography

Okay. So how do you navigate a child having a meltdown? What are the key points that let you survive this moment without losing your mind? First remain calm. It is easier said than done but your child feeds off of your emotions, and when you are stressed out it will increase the tension. Second turn off the television, music or any loud sounds. Third get down to the same level as your child. I want you to imagine how you would feel if someone two feet taller than you was staring you down telling you stop screaming. Intimidating right? Lastly have a conversation with your child that helps them understand their emotions.

The only difference with the above process when you are out in public is that you will have an audience. Running out of Target with a screaming kid and leaving your cart in the middle of the aisle is exactly what we want to do. Follow the above steps and help your child through the tantrum, don’t try to shut it down and dismiss their feelings.

Children often have a difficult time expressing and understanding their emotions; this results in a tantrum. They are overwhelmed and do not know how to get out all of the big feelings. Tell your child the word for the emotion they are feeling and then empathize with them. At our house we spend time discussing emotions and visualizing them. There are books that will show faces for different emotions; another way your child will learn is by play behavior. Help them act out different emotions, and hopefully they will begin to understand.

I honestly wish that I had all of the answers, but every child is different and they all handle emotions in a different way. If you are struggling to relate to your children I strongly recommend finding a gentle parenting book that fits your lifestyle. I know that sounds crazy for those of us who are constantly chasing toddlers and feeding babies, but Audible is a great way to still get content while tending to your children.